Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
