i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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