Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.