So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me