I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT