What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
