She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The air was thick with penises
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
