do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
