should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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