No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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