I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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