Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
