I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
