I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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