It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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