Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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