the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
