Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
