so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
