question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
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were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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