Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
