Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced

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  (636): dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you (1-636): when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/5nrz
  Replies (5) Good night (1797) Bad night (1028)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!

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  (917): i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire! http://tfl.nu/yxp7
  Replies (12) Good night (4698) Bad night (759)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I need to stop coming to work sober

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  (808): I need to stop coming to work sober http://tfl.nu/5deo
  Replies (10) Good night (3383) Bad night (826)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.

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  (757): I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it. http://tfl.nu/1fpc
  Replies (23) Good night (3508) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook

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  (925): just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook http://tfl.nu/1a75
  Replies (32) Good night (3869) Bad night (2266)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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  (815): I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire. http://tfl.nu/5e7s
  Replies (9) Good night (6281) Bad night (1633)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.

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  (765): I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work. http://tfl.nu/q42i
  Replies (33) Good night (5915) Bad night (2930)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5598) Bad night (1638)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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  (253): I just did a sobriety test in a tutu. http://tfl.nu/m861
  Replies (5) Good night (3336) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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  (707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3
  Replies (24) Good night (3109) Bad night (1408)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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  (732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073
  Replies (3) Good night (1563) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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  (305): The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies. http://tfl.nu/h31z
  Replies (9) Good night (2463) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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  (613): I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students. http://tfl.nu/r17p
  Replies (7) Good night (767) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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  (775): Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck? http://tfl.nu/o867
  Replies (6) Good night (485) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.

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  (562): I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom. http://tfl.nu/o8ix
  Replies (2) Good night (239) Bad night (579)

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