Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...

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(631): I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf... http://tfl.nu/qnwa

Replies (12) Good night (1059) Bad night (3766)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...

(443): View more from Maryland

How'd that go?

(301): View more from Maryland

Hes on his way with a baseball bat...

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(301): I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been... (443): How'd that go? (301): Hes on his way with a baseball bat... http://tfl.nu/x8jv

Replies (14) Good night (930) Bad night (4240)
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(914): View more from New York

Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.

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(914): Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary. http://tfl.nu/8dm9

Replies (44) Good night (5588) Bad night (961)
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(734): View more from Michigan

If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns

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(734): If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns http://tfl.nu/c8s4

Replies (23) Good night (929) Bad night (3327)
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(850): View more from Florida

The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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(850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man. http://tfl.nu/ikii

Replies (36) Good night (5158) Bad night (1372)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just left the emergency room. condom extraction.

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(920): just left the emergency room. condom extraction. http://tfl.nu/bo1w

Replies (30) Good night (1173) Bad night (11239)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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(617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt

Replies (8) Good night (1230) Bad night (3519)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops

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(701): There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops http://tfl.nu/5t7t

Replies (29) Good night (8155) Bad night (999)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.

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(423): You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti. http://tfl.nu/u3mr

Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (2010)
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(716): View more from New York

It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

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(716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6

Replies (17) Good night (1472) Bad night (3006)
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(949): View more from California

Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.

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(949): Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later. http://tfl.nu/ckzf

Replies (10) Good night (2495) Bad night (964)
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(518): View more from New York

I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.

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(518): I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down. http://tfl.nu/m8at

Replies (18) Good night (2817) Bad night (1058)
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(416): View more from Toronto

no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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(416): no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us http://tfl.nu/s0m4

Replies (8) Good night (2283) Bad night (648)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

What the fuck, why would you ever do that?

(250): View more from British Columbia

Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?

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(250): I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much. (1-250): What the fuck, why would you ever do that? (250): Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball? http://tfl.nu/mk5m

Replies (5) Good night (2146) Bad night (530)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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(202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g

Replies (18) Good night (777) Bad night (1098)

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