Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.

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  (512): If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch. http://tfl.nu/hocy
  Replies (39) Good night (1013) Bad night (1767)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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  (973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars http://tfl.nu/7tyz
  Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (5620)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  she sounds like chewbacca in bed

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  (978): she sounds like chewbacca in bed http://tfl.nu/5g24
  Replies (32) Good night (1096) Bad night (6924)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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  (847): We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty. http://tfl.nu/2pem
  Replies (13) Good night (3528) Bad night (898)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people

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  (401): My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people http://tfl.nu/xhvq
  Replies (28) Good night (1392) Bad night (5289)
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  (805): View more from California

  You are such a cockblock sometimes

  (661): View more from California

  You NEED a cockblock sometimes

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  (805): You are such a cockblock sometimes (661): You NEED a cockblock sometimes http://tfl.nu/zl8e
  Replies (10) Good night (4508) Bad night (911)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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  (647): I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized... http://tfl.nu/nrq1
  Replies (13) Good night (1744) Bad night (710)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.

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  (319): Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party. http://tfl.nu/bbcz
  Replies (11) Good night (1404) Bad night (512)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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  (320): I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years. http://tfl.nu/ge1t
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (1225)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.

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  (202): Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat. http://tfl.nu/b8sz
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?

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  (815): She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper? http://tfl.nu/3fdw
  Replies (3) Good night (825) Bad night (324)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.

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  (503): Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home. http://tfl.nu/577r
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1587) Bad night (352)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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  (905): Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good! http://tfl.nu/hwch
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.

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  (301): Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask. http://tfl.nu/cyae
  Replies (4) Good night (403) Bad night (226)

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