Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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