He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
