My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.