quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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