Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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