Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Can we have unprotected sex soon?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner

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  (270): Can we have unprotected sex soon? (270): Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner http://tfl.nu/5s3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1742) Bad night (707)
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  (640): View more from

  I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

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  (640): I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease http://tfl.nu/exy2
  Replies (12) Good night (617) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1558) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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  (708): i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES! http://tfl.nu/1ytt
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (2022)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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  (816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4
  Replies (30) Good night (1014) Bad night (3804)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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  (203): I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night? http://tfl.nu/u6ad
  Replies (6) Good night (5322) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...

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  (419): Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl... http://tfl.nu/mv65
  Replies (8) Good night (4250) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

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  (607): do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers? http://tfl.nu/jybn
  Replies (10) Good night (1918) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....

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  (806): You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping.... http://tfl.nu/mb43
  Replies (6) Good night (3387) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2572) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.

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  (864): Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/f6x3
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (598) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  What's dad's email?

  (1-951): View more from California

  askmom@cause.idk

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  (951): What's dad's email? (1-951): askmom@cause.idk http://tfl.nu/l2ab
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.

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  (360): Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20. http://tfl.nu/482q
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you

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  (612): You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you http://tfl.nu/5q64
  Replies (0) Good night (308) Bad night (194)

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