i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?