Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
