You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
