some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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