how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
