ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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