So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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