I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
