There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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