Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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