fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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