i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
