Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
