It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
