If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
