I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
