im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
