so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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