You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
