Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
