So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
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having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
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I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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