Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
