You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think my vagina is haunted
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
