found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Randomize
