One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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