The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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