I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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