This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
