There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
