Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize