Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
