We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
