I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
