that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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