Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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