I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
