69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize