It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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