Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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