girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is the high leading the old right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
