I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
