Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
