I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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