I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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