Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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