so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
